Well, it has been 4 days since we have been home and this is the second day of being home with cheecky monkey and no one else (except for small snatches of Brittney and Jorge). He is doing suprisingly well and we have only had a few, minor meltdowns. He is a sweet and tender boy who just so happens to be VERY active, much like Daniel was when he was a boy; except where Daniel was all knees and elbows, Judah is a solid 60 lbs, in a compact little body.
Yesterday we moved from activity to activity so fast that by noon we had done everything and he was already asking when Daniel would be home so he could play Godzilla. Fortunately, he did go down for a nap which gave me a couple hours to sit and read and just decompress from all the BIG changes that have happened in 3 weeks.
Considering all things – I think we are doing well. It is as tough as I expected it to be and tougher than I had hoped. We were pretty educated by our agency on children who have been in an institute and some of the things that are common to their adjustment and behavior, but we really were not mentally prepared for the effects being in a foster family would have on our boy. We constantly have to remind ourselves that he is grieving a loving family. We also face the challenge of loving him through his inability to understand why he has been taken from his family.
In China we learned his family never told him he was not thier own; in his mind he was taken from a family and this one thing may be the hardest ‘effect of adoption’ we have to overcome (and the fact he was very indulged, but he is learning fast who the boss is). It is something that we will continue to lift up and ask that you join us. It is hard for us at times to seperate the behavior from the boy and to not take it personally when his behavior is directed at us. However, it is not hard to love these children; it IS hard to parent though when the boundaries have been established by others first and we are left to redraw the lines.